Hello. Slacker here.

I'm currently sitting on my couch, slippers on and covered in my soft blanket. I should be doing something productive like homework, but motivating myself to do anything of that nature has been pretty tough lately. I know I'll get with it eventually, or otherwise I'll have some rude awakening. I've just been so stressed out in general that it's been tough to really focus on anything.

After much thinking and debate, Todd has decided to find Samwise a new, loving home. The poor dog spends too much of his time in a kitchen or a kennel, and that's just not fair. Todd's traveling is going to be picking up soon and he's going to be there even less. He and I both love that dog to death, and he obviously has connections and a history (he delivered his litter about two years ago..), so it's going to be tough. I've seen him very upset in a way I don't see him often, if ever, and it kills me to see him that way. I think it will be tough for awhile, but after the initial sting it will be much better for him and Sam. In the meantime, Todd has found a potential home for him and we are going to meet them tomorrow. It is a single mother and her two children. They have their own house and she only works 3 days a week, so they will be home a lot. He will have a nice big yard to play in, and plenty of attention. From the emails and everything she has said so far, she really seems like she'll be a good fit. Tomorrow will be the big decision-maker, and if all goes well, she will pick him up on Saturday. I expect that to be a pretty rough day.

I also got the news at about 7:30 am yesterday on my way to work that my brother and his friends were in a car accident the night before. No one was severely hurt, but my brothers friend had a concussion and had to get some stitches in his head. They also had a lot of glass to remove from his face. My brother had a gash on his head by his hairline, and his cheek was all swollen (I guess his friend had smacked his head into my brothers face upon the impact). He also has a lot of cuts, scratches, and bruising over his body.His other friend, in the backseat was unharmed. The other driver was fine as well, but they thought he might have had a broken ankle. I'm glad everyone was okay, but god was I a mess yesterday. I just cried and cried and couldn't think of anything else. I ended up not even trying to go to class, and let my professor know. She of course, was amazing about it. I went home, ate, and tried to nap but that failed. I started some homework and did some cleaning, and then Todd came over. We ended up reading silly magazines together, drinking Sangria, and baking a cake. I had a lovely, lovely time. After I was drunk-ish, my brother texted and then called to explain what all happened. Boy, was I a mess after that. I started crying and crying, and did so for awhile even after I was done talking to him. I was a hot mess, but Todd calmed me down and made me feel much better before he left. I can't express how thankful I am that my brother and his friends are all okay, or how thankful I am to have a man like Todd in my life.

I'm feeling sappy today, and lately in general. PMS is partly to blame; environmental and other social circumstances are as well. It's been a bit rough, but I can't help but feel utterly optimistic somehow. I may not always show it, and I'm sometimes pretty dramatic... but there's this lingering thought in the back of my mind that everything is okay, and going as it should.

Good Morning.

I'm at work, sort of working. Days here are much less hectic now that I'm only here ten hours a week. Things have been busy. I missed work and class yesterday because of a fiasco with Pigface, Todd's dog. I tried to watch him while Todd went on a short trip to see how it'd go and save him some money. I took him Sunday night, and he is picking him up this afternoon. I sort of snuck him into my apartment (we're not allowed animals). I figured things would be fine, but I was a little worried about was his barking. I figured I'd try it anyways.

Well... I couldn't even leave the apartment yesterday without him going nuts, and I certainly couldn't let him do that all day... so I had to call off work and stay home. There are always Mozart people at my building or those next to me and I couldn't chancethem hearing him, or having a neighbor complain. I was pretty frustrated. He wouldn't let me sleep at all the night before, and now I was missing more work and class.

I hung out with him at my apt all day yesterday, but I couldn't get much done. He's a little needy, and he followed me around everywhere. He'd get jealous when I'd open a book to try and do some homework, or when I was online talking. I decided to take him to Derek's new apartment in Shadyside for the night. Derek's apartment allows pets, and he is on third floor so there isn't as much noise (and therefore not as much to bark at). This way Derek could watch him so I could go to work this morning. That wasn't bad. I got more sleep than the night before, but he still stood outside my door scratching and waiting for me to let him in. I love the little shithead, but I will be happy when he goes back to his permanent home, at Todd's. I'm sure he wouldn't have been so bad if he weren't in a new, unfamiliar place. He's just such a baby...

Anyways.
I have been super busy lately, as usual. I started school back up on August 31st. It seems to be going well so far, but I am a super slacker, as usual this time of the year. It always takes me a good month or so to really get back into school mode. I've already missed several classes (most with at least decent excuses), and I never read or do any homework. I've also had a hell of a time getting an internship thanks to a few fellow assholes at WPIC, but I finally obtained one this past Friday. I'll be starting at The Child & Adolescent Bipolar Clinic tomorrow. I'm pretty excited/nervous.

Anyway.. better get going. I leave in an hour. Yay!

Only that I giggle to myself when I see someone who has nothing else to do other than sit around and take "cute, artsy" photos of themselves all day.

So I'm at work and bored as hell. I was so busy for about a month straight and now I've kind of run out of big projects. I spend most of my time in gmail on AIM and looking up various sites. I enjoy it, but time doesn't go quite as quickly.

I called off yesterday for no real reason. I missed my bus, and my sister is here for the week so I just figured I'd play sick and hang out with her for the day. Kathy took it quite well, and I've never called off before so it wasn't a big deal. I'm just the admin. assistant anyways. The office can survive without me for one day.

I went to Altoona this past weekend for my cousin, Jayme's, wedding reception. Todd was my date of course, and this was the first time he had ever been to a wedding. Friday night we were in bed decently early, and Saturday morning we were up to go to some yard sales. I also got my hair cut and decided to do something different. I don't think my hair has been this short since I was a toddler.

( Lookie! )

It's taking some getting used to, but I like it. I was too bored with my usual cuts. They were all the same.... and very boring.

SO, anyways. We did some more shopping and then went home to relax a bit before the reception. When we did get there, around 7, no one recognized me. It was pretty funny. I said hi to my grandparents, my aunt and uncle.. they just said hi and looked away. I said hi to my grandma again, and it took her a few minutes to realize who I was. :D I've been told the look is pretty different, but in a good way. I feel I needed a drastic change.

As expected, we got trashed at the free open bar and ended up passing out early that night. Todd and I woke up at like 4:45 in the morning feeling like hell and completely dehydrated. I felt okay the next day, but I could have been better. We just ended up cooking out at the house and doing a little shopping. We left Altoona around 5:30 and took Catie with us. Like I said, she's staying for the week.

Anyways. I'm getting super hungry and it's almost lunch time.

Hi hi hi.

I am at work. It's rather gloomy out (as it has been), but I sort of like it. At least it's cooler and less humid than it has been. I absolutely despise humidity.

I'm just sipping on some coffee (already on cup #2 for today) and working on a Staples order. Fun stuff! No, but I actually like this job + the people. There is a chance I may be working here part time during the school year. We shall see.

So.. I've been extremely anxious the past few weeks and I am not entirely sure why. I know why I was anxious around the time I moved (because of all of the drama and shit that went into doing that), but the past week or two I'm not really sure. I've been waking up at 7 every morning, and immediately I get that gnawing pain in my stomach. It has to be more of an unconscious thing because I don't seem to be actively worrying about it as much as that jab in my stomach tells me I am. It's so weird how that works. I can have myself sick in 5 minutes flat and not know why.

I know I am a bit worried about starting school again on the 31st. I know I am also worried about my internship (because I haven't heard back from my advisor yet and as of now have no placement). I also know that I've been wondering whether or not I will stay with Carnegie Learning for awhile during the year. I think about all of this things, but I don't SEEM to be dwelling on them... at least not enough to be sick over every day. I'm not sure.

I was super anxious last night/this morning because I hadn't heard from Todd since yesterday afternoon. I usually talk to him throughout the day while we are both at work, and then if I don't hang out with him in the evening he calls me before bed. I didn't hear anything from him past noon, and I didn't receive a phone call. This wouldn't be unusual for most people, but I hear from him every single day, and every single night before bed. Naturally, I started to worry. I was hoping he had just fallen asleep while watching tv (he does this often, but usually wakes up), so I didn't call for fear of waking him. I went to bed a little early, and the rest of the night I had horrible dreams involving him. You know how it is when you have terrible dreams, and then you wake up the next morning and just feel awful? I felt like that this morning. I kept checking my messages before I left my apartment, and then got on AIM on my phone to see if he was online. I had snet him a message on facebook last night, and figured he would respond to it at work this morning. I usually hear something from him by 7:30 or 8, and he checks his messages frequently. I still didn't hear anything by 8:30 this morning, and I knew something was weird. I decided to call him at work and he was at home, sleeping. He is sick apparently, and fell asleep at 8 pm last night so he didn't call. I felt relieved to know he was okay, but I was terribly frustrated. I felt so terrible last night and this morning, not to mention worried, so I was a little on edge. It's amazing what anxiety can do to a situation.

I am still calming myself down. I have that weird feeling in my throat/stomach still, but I'm doing okay. I'm also a bit worried for my sister. She is at the hospital right now getting scoped. She has Acid Reflux Disease at age 15. The doctor thinks this was at first, the body's reaction to her anxiety/worrying. Isn't that crazy? I come from a family of worriers; it's amazing how that passes down. I remember when I was her age. I started making myself ill at school when I saw certain people, and every day at the same time riding the bus to school. I took pepto and ibuprofren every single morning because I didn't know any better. I lost 20-30 lbs in two months. I'm much better nowadays, but every once in awhile it's tough to handle.

I am super tired.
But here is my last week in a nutshell.

* I got the job! I started Tuesday. :) 8:30am - 5:30pm and ends when I go back to school. Perfect.
* Found out I got Advanced Placement status for grad school, which means I graduate with my Master's in 3 semesters instead of 4. Sweet.
* I also got sick this week, wtf. Who gets a sore throat + a cold in June? Lame. I've been trying to feel better.
* Because of said illness, as well as adapting to a "normal people" schedule, I have been exhausted this week. Sleeping lots. Mmmm, sleep.
* Friday I saw Vanna and A Static Lullaby at Diesel. SWEET. :) Was a good time. After, hung out with Rob, Katelyn, George, and his lady.
* Saturday Todd and I went to South Side. We hung around in the bookstore for awhile and then saw the Hangover. Totally deserves all of the hype it's been getting! It was hilarious. We then had a lazy early evening laying around and listening to music. After, we went to Primanti Bros. for some drinks. Excellent conversation, as always.
* Today we woke up and went to the Zoo! Took cute pictures and enjoyed the animals. We did not enjoy how packed it was, nor did we enjoy the mom's who were in super soccer-mom mode. They kept trying to run over my feet with various wagons/strollers. Not cool. Came back, said goodbye, slept.. and did various chores/relaxed.

Back to work tomorrow. 10:20pm and I'm already sleepy. This is sooo not me, haha.

Okaaaay.

So I got a call today from Kathy, the HR lady. I thought I would find out... but instead she wants me to come in again tomorrow, at 10:00 am, to speak with the other managers I may be assisting.

I cannot tell if they like me or if they're unsure. Ugh.
She said it would be another hour, hour and a half process. Lame.

So... still totally unsure. It sucks.

Sooooo.

I had a job interview today. It all seems pretty ideal. It's a summer intern/office clerk position, which is wonderful because I go back to school at the end of August. It's full-time, and downtown, which is easily accessible for me on a bus. I was there for over an hour today talking and meeting with a few of the employees. Before I left they said they were going to contact some of my references and then get back to me either late tomorrow/early Thursday. Antoinette emailed me and said they had already contacted her, so things are moving along pretty quickly. I feel pretty confident, but we shall see. I'll find out soon enough!

I hope to lay out tomorrow if the weather decides to not be a whore. It's been so on/off lately. I sure could use some sun. I'm pasty!

I also get to see Todd tomorrow, who is going on two trips this week. That will be nice as always!Oooh, and on Thursday I head home to Altoona for the weekend. My brother just graduated from high school, so I'm really looking forward to seeing him. I missed his graduation, so yeah. :) Should be a nice weekend.

Anyway. I don't have much energy for this. I'll update later!

Lovely weekend.
Super drained.
Super broke.
Going to Altoona on Thursday.
Anticipating fun with the fam.

Hoping for something good tomorrow.
Hoping for something good this week in general.

Will update more later.

I despise having all of this free time.

It was nice and of course welcome the first few weeks after I graduated, but this is getting a little ridiculous. It's June. I have a Bachelor's in Social Work and no one wants to employ me, or pay me a decent salary. I should have known better, but I didn't think it'd be this bad. I can make much more with NO college education working as an administrative assistant (which I've been applying for....)

I sleep in until at least 1:00 pm every day just because I cannot fathom trying to entertain myself for those extra hours in the morning. Every weekday is the same, and every weekend I stay at Todd's. Hanging out with him has been the only enjoyable aspect of my life lately, really. Oh well.

I'm sick of being an erratic moody about it, but it sucks. Still, I'm going to try and regulate my crazy moods more. In the process, I guess I'll just keep applying. Then, off to graduate school in the fall. Fun fun.